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Q: How many Labour Party members does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None. They haven't got a policy on that.

Q: How many law professors does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Well, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: How many can you afford?
A: It only takes one to change your bulb...to his.
A: Three. One to change it and 2 to keep interrupting by standing up and shouting "Objection !"
A: None, lawyers only screw us.
A: Lawyers don't change bulbs. Now if you're looking for someone to really screw a bulb...
A: Three-one to sue the power company for insufficiently supplying power, or negligent failure to prevent the surge that made the bulb burn out in the first place, one to sue the electrician who wired the house, and one to sue the bulb manufacturers.
A: Fifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object, one to demur, two to research precedents, one to dictate a letter, one to stipulate, five to turn in their time cards, one to depose, one to write interrogatories, two to settle, one to order a secretary to change the bulb, and twenty-eight to bill for professional services.

Q: How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One liberal and twenty eight delegates representing all the social, economic, and ethnic communities.
A: Two-one to do it and the other to keep the first one's knee from jerking.
A: None: They can't remove the old ones since they are already part of the environment.

Q: How many Liberal Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A:
None. "Well it's not really a question of should we change it or should we not change the lightbulb, but more a question of...(blah blah waffle)"

Q: How many libertarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, if he wants to sit in the dark, it's his business. A: None, because somebody might come into the room who likes to sit in the dark.

Q: How many "Changing lightbulbs"-joke writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two hundred, and don't ask why because they haven't -figured that out yet.

Q: How many Local Government Officials does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Fifty, one to change the light bulb and 49 to carry out a fact finding mission to Barbados to see how they change light bulbs there.

Q: How many London taxi drivers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: What ? Go all the way up there and come back empty ? You must be jokin' mate !

Q: How many Lunatics does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two, one to change the light bulb and the other to tell him to make sure he sticks his fingers in the socket first, to see if the electricity is switched on.


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