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Q: How many rednecks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Six. They all beat the hell out of it, leave it lying in a dark alley and brag about it in the pub afterwards.
A: One, it only takes one person to use a hammer.
A: Three, one to change the bulb, one to take care of the sheep, and one to observe and try to think why he isn't tending to the sheep's needs. A: Two, one to drive their home to the hardware store and one to buy the bulb and screw it in.

Q: How many `Real Men' does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None: `Real Men' aren't afraid of the dark.

Q: How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it, and one of them can change the bulb while he's at it.

Q: How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two-one to do it and one to steady the chandelier. A: None, they only screw the poor

Q: How many research technicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but it'll probably take him/her three or four tries to get it right.

Q: How many road workmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five, one to change the light bulb and four to lean on their shovels and watch the one working.

Q: How many roadies does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: One, two ! One, two ! One, two !
A: None. "I don't do lights. That's the light crew's job."
A: One: Upon finding no replacement, he takes the original apart, repairs it with a chewing gum wrapper and duct tape, changes the screw mount to bayonet mount, finds an appropriate patch cable, and re-installs the bulb fifty feet from where it should have been, to the satisfaction of the rest of the band.


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